AETC/FETC Information

By Caeredwen Gregson-Barnes. – https://www.magichandscalmminds.co.uk/ People often ask me how I do this job.  ‘Don’t you feel exhausted listening to people’s problems all day?’ they ask.  Or ‘How do you avoid getting frustrated with your clients?’ The truth is that it can be hard.  Not everyone can do it.  But it’s not as hard as you might think, and I’ve been trained to do it.  Basically, a big chunk of counselling training is about learning how and why people think, feel and act as they do.  Some of my clients have ways of looking at things, and do things, that you might say are weird or stupid; but I don’t think they’re stupid or weird.  Most of the time I can see exactly why they do those things and if I’d followed the same path through life they have, I’d probably do them too. Some people could never be counsellors, but then some people could never be weightlifters or ballet dancers or project managers so that’s ok.  Part of the training – or at least at the Academy of Emotional Therapeutic Counselling, where I trained – is about whether you’re the kind of person who can do it.  And during the course I changed a lot.   I used to be the most judgemental person alive, and yet now my whole ‘thing’ is that I’m non-judgemental.  It’s easy to say but not so easy to do.  A lot of people who say it really mean ‘I’m non-judgemental of people I like and agree with’.  That’s not difficult at all.  Genuinely not judging people who are doing things totally contrary to the way you think the world should work, that’s difficult. A lot of counsellors think it’s enough to just appear non-judgemental, but I don’t think that’s enough.  Clients tell me things that they’re deeply ashamed of, that they’ve never told anyone before, and the fear of someone judging them is the reason they haven’t told anyone else.   Just saying you don’t judge isn’t enough, you have to prove you don’t.  And you can’t prove you don’t do something if you are actually doing it. I’m not saying I’m in any way special in doing this.  I’m human just like everyone else, and I’ll rant about people driving like idiots or hoarding toilet paper like everyone else does.  But when I’m working, I go into a special mindset where I really don’t judge – and I learned how to do that during the training to become an Emotional Therapeutic Counsellor. A lot of the other things I learned while I was training to be a counsellor were about myself.  All the tools and techniques you learn to use on other people, you practice on yourself and your fellow students; so the course isn’t just learning, it’s self-development as well.  A lot of people, me included, start the course because we’ve been in the dark places and now we’re all better we want to help other people.  And very quickly in the course I realised that I wasn’t all better at all.  That’s deliberate.  You can’t be a good counsellor if you haven’t dealt with at least most of your own stuff.  It’s also true that the best way of telling someone how effective a particular technique is, is to use it on them so they see – and feel – it for themselves. So, this isn’t a job that anyone can do.  But it’s not as hard as people think.  In fact, it’s the most rewarding, satisfying, joyous thing I’ve ever done.   People tell me their problems all day long, but then I help them feel better about them, so it’s not depressing at all.  I feel blessed being able to do this work. If you are a good listener and enjoy helping others, you too could train to become a counsellor. For more information go to www.aetc.org.uk to find out more. Caeredwen is a counsellor, coach and physical therapist based in Coleford in the Forest of Dean. If you would like to contact her in confidence you can reach her at hands@magichandsbowen.co.uk or via her website at www.magichandscalmminds.com.