Chris Davies

On Death and Dying - A Book Review

Book Review – On Death and Dying

Book Review 1 by Ny Murphy Author: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Title: On Death and Dying Published: 1st January 1969 The book explores the emotional and psychological aspects of individuals facing mortality. In this compassionate and insightful book, Kubler-Ross introduces the now widely known stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – that individuals often experience when confronting death. Through personal anecdotes, patient stories, and her own experiences as a psychiatrist, the author sheds light on the human experience of dying and the profound impact it has on both patients and their loved ones. Kubler-Ross’s sensitive approach and keen observations offer readers a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding death, making this book a great resource for anyone seeking to comprehend the various dimensions of the end-of-life journey. After this book was published it shortly became a best seller, leading Kubler-Ross to global fame and recognition for her work. Kubler-Ross wrote more than 20 books on death and related subjects after “On Death and Dying. Some of her books include “To Live Until We Say Goodbye” (1978), “Living with Death and Dying” (1981), and “The Tunnel and the Light” (1999). She also co-authored two books with David Kessler, one of those being “On Grief and Grieving” (2005) The book engages readers by presenting thought-provoking questions and insights that keep them pondering throughout the book. One of the key elements that keeps readers engaged and guessing is the exploration of the human psyche and emotions in the face of death. Kubler-Ross delves into the intricate and often unpredictable ways that individuals respond to the prospect of their own mortality, which can create a sense of curiosity and intrigue. Additionally, the book challenges readers to consider their own beliefs and attitudes towards death and dying. As Kubler-Ross presents various patient stories and scenarios, readers are prompted to reflect on how they might personally react in similar situations. This self-examination creates an ongoing sense of uncertainty and reflection as readers grapple with the complex and often uncharted territory of their own feelings about mortality. A real standout feature of this book is how Kubler-Ross uses real-life patient stories and personal anecdotes. This makes it easy for the reader to connect with these narratives on a personal level, finding them relatable and moving. These stories humanize the experiences of those facing death and create an emotional connection that resonates with readers. This can provoke a variety of emotions whilst reading, however Kubler-Ross’s empathetic style of writing, allows the reader to feel safe whilst exploring these intense emotions. Another standout feature of the book is the introduction of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – These stages provide a framework for understanding the complex and often unpredictable emotional responses to death and offer readers a new lens through which to view their own feelings and experiences. Kubler-Ross challenges traditional, societal norms and medical practices surrounding death and dying. She emphasizes the importance of open communication between patients and medical professionals, advocating for honest discussions about prognosis and treatment options. This challenges the prevailing tendency to shield patients from the truth, encouraging a more transparent and empathetic approach to end-of-life care. This aspect of the book can be gripping as readers consider the potential impact of improved communication on patients’ emotional well-being and decision-making. Kubler-Ross delves into the emotional journey of caregivers – the family members and loved ones who provide support to the terminally ill. She highlights the emotional strain, feelings of helplessness, and personal growth that often accompany caregiving. These sections can be gripping for readers who may relate to the experiences of caregivers, prompting them to reflect on the challenges and rewards of supporting a loved one through their final moments. Kubler-Ross’s insights provide a deeper understanding of the caregiver’s perspective and emphasize the need for support networks and self-care in these situations. Throughout the book, Kubler-Ross engages in philosophical discussions about profound existential questions that arise when facing mortality. She prompts readers to contemplate the meaning of life, the nature of suffering, and the search for purpose in-the-midst of inevitable death. These explorations can be gripping as readers are led to confront their own beliefs and perspectives on these timeless and deeply personal subjects. Kubler-Ross encourages readers to confront their own mortality and consider how their beliefs and values shape their approach to life and death. One of the standout patient stories that resonated with me is the case of “Mrs. Schwarz.” This story illustrates the stages of grief and the emotional journey of a terminally ill patient in a way that captures the heart. “Mrs. Schwarz” represents a composite of several patients Kubler-Ross encountered during her work. Mrs. Schwarz initially responds to her diagnosis with denial, believing that the doctors have made a mistake. As her illness progresses, she transitions through anger, bargaining, and depression, reflecting the emotional turbulence that often accompanies the process of facing one’s mortality. Kubler-Ross takes you on a journey showing Mrs. Schwarz’s emotional evolution, her struggles to come to terms with her impending death, and the support she receives from both medical professionals and her family. Through Mrs. Schwarz’s experience, you can really empathize with the complexity of emotions that individuals undergoing similar circumstances may feel. This patient story is a clear reminder of the universal human experience of confronting mortality and the emotional challenges that come with it. It encapsulates the book’s core message about the importance of compassionate care, open communication, and understanding when dealing with patients at the end of life. The book’s patient stories and examples primarily reflect a Western cultural context, which may not fully capture the diverse experiences and perspectives surrounding death and dying across different cultures and belief systems. This limited cultural scope can potentially make certain readers feel that their experiences or viewpoints are not adequately represented. The book leaves the reader with a desire for more in-depth psychological analysis and discussion, sometimes giving you the feeling that the book occasionally glosses over certain aspects of the emotional and psychological experiences of patients and their families. In areas, a deeper exploration of the underlying reasons behind certain behaviours and reactions would make for a more interesting and captivating read. To summarize, Kubler-Ross provides readers with a profound understanding of the complex journey individuals undertake as they approach the end of life. While the book’s emphasis on honest communication, empathy, and the stages of grief

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Working with clients who have ADHD

By Linda John. – 07515834931, linda—john@hotmail.co.uk, www.therapystratforduponavon.co.uk Most people don’t understand the psychoeducation of this neurological disorder and that it is not a choice. With the support of a counsellor and education, and more often than not helped by medication, the client can actually blossom. ADHD affects 1 in 45 young people around the world. It is not just a childhood disorder as once believed. It affects 1 in 30 adults and can often go undiagnosed, and this can lead to a number of comorbid conditions: Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-harm, self-medication, addiction, risky behaviours, suicidal thoughts, ticks. As well as: OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) SRD (sensitivity rejection disorder) ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) and other learning difficulties. A person with ADHD may have difficulty sustaining attention, following through instructions, organise tasks, sitting and fidgeting in their seat or running around. Counsellors will treat the symptoms, and common symptoms displayed by clients could be; interrupting, talkative, forgetful, impulsive, hyperactive, poor time management, poor working memory and hyper focusing. The hormone dopamine is thought to be lacking in people with ADHD. Dopamine allows us to regulate emotional responses along with feelings of pleasure and pain, reward, movement, motivation and for paying attention. Dopamine enhances signal conduction in the brain and improves attention, enabling us to stay focused on a task. Medications raise the levels of dopamine in the brain to allow the brain to function normally. Sometimes a person may need extra support from a counsellor. Clients can present as very angry and upset, they may have anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, can fall behind, have no friends, self-harm. People with ADHD can become targets of bullies or become bullies themselves. They can also become suicidal. A good therapeutic relationship with a counsellor can promote a feeling of hope. Counselling sessions can help with coping strategies and counsellors will be aware that forgetting appointments and not paying attention are the symptoms of the disorder. Visualization/mindfulness can help to calm the mind. Yoga and Pilates promote a greater awareness of what is going on around them and help the clients psychological and mental wellbeing. Counselling can help to get rid of negative thoughts and reduce the amount of time spent procrastinating. Clients will learn how to manage their symptoms. There are some good role models who have ADHD and are able to hyper focus which can drive them to achieve and be successful in business, entrepreneurs like Richard Branson, Jaimie Oliver  and Athletes like Michael Phelps, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan and Jackie Stewart. Spending time outside with nature and 30 minutes of exercise first thing in the morning can help to regulate the overwhelming feelings/compulsions. Counselling can bring the inward outward. The counsellor sees the person, not the label. A person with ADHD just wants to be heard and understood. To find out more about Emotional Therapeutic Counselling visit: www.therapystratforduponavon.co.uk

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Mental Health and Sleep

By Linda John. – 07515834931, linda—john@hotmail.co.uk, www.therapystratforduponavon.co.uk Sleep is an important part of our physical and mental health. Getting adequate sleep can help to improve mental wellbeing, as it helps to restore energy levels, reduce stress, and provide much needed rest. Unfortunately, many individuals find it difficult to get the necessary amount of sleep, and this can have a negative impact on their mental health. Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can be an effective way to help people improve their mental health and sleep. Counselling can provide individuals with the space and support to process their thoughts and feelings, identify patterns of behaviour and understand the root cause of their issues. Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can also equip people with the knowledge and skills they need to manage their emotions and cope with difficult situations. Through this, individuals can learn how to better manage their stress, reduce anxiety and improve their sleep. In addition to providing mental health support, counselling can also help to create a sense of connection and understanding. Feeling connected and understood can help individuals to manage their stress and anxiety, which can help to improve their overall mental health and sleep. Overall, counselling is an effective way to help individuals improve their mental health and sleep. Emotional Therapeutic Counselling can provide individuals with the space and support to understand and process their thoughts and feelings, equip them with the skills and knowledge to manage their emotions and create a sense of connection and understanding.

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Catharsis

By Gerry Ritchie. – Accredited Counsellor | Evesham | NCS (nationalcounsellingsociety.org) Hear my voice, Consider my views, Help me understand my past. If the past is a foreign country, Be my car, my train, my plane, And transport me to that place. Shrink me back to that small child, Confused and frightened, In a world ruled by capricious adults. It was all so long ago, you say, And things are different now. The ones that caused the harm, Are long since dead. What good would it do, To resurrect the memories? What balm can be found, In naming those accountable, That cannot be held to account? It’s the act of speaking out, That brings relief. Saying out loud, He did this to me, And though I have survived, I still bear the scars. Blame should be put where it belongs. And from that act of speaking out, Perhaps some good will come.

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